That's one tasty trademark...

The News Desk has been checking the fax machine all morning for a cease and desist letter from Liverpool FC for using their now trademarked Liver Bird on our website. The club had unsuccessfully attempted to trademark what is widely regarded as the symbol of the city for a number of years despite concerns from a wide range of businesses, newspaper publishers and even the residents themselves who currently use the iconic fowl in day to day life. After the shenanigans of previous attempts, the Club and the Liverpool City Council have now reached a deal that has allowed them to put a ™ next to our fine feathered friend. The club will technically own the rights to the image but will not infringe on others use as long as the clubs crest is not involved. Our legal team understands that this measure was taken to clamp down on counterfeit merchandising and reign in the underworld no-goodnicks who produce them. In other news, I need to call China…

Hit and miss in the market...

The only place the cash was splashed¹ out was to re-inforce the backline. Paul Konchesky was brought in from Fulham to fix a left back problem that we created, Fabio Aurelio was re-signed after being released from the club and Brad Jones signed up to be understudy to Pepe Reina. Wilson, who signed from Glasgow Rangers, would be the pick of the bunch of a somewhat untidy bunch. Coming off a fantastic SPL season, he was snatched up for a paltry £2mil and looks to have a promising future². Not the near future mind you as he sits way back in the pecking order but if we don’t sell him off for nothing, he can be a class defender.

The only departure of note, and this is a big note, is Emiliano Insua who’s off to Galatasary with a view to a permanent deal being agreed in the future. The stout Argie might have had a rough spot or two in seasons past but was, and still remains, our best option on the left side of the defence. I’m not sure why we bring these kids in just to ship them out again for pence on the pound. There was a lot of speculation previous to the move as he was linked with a number of Italian clubs but nothing ever went through. Hopefully, Konchesky will be able to pick up where Insua left off and be just as dangerous overlapping with the midfield.

A tidy was made from the sale of midfielders this summer with a number of high profile players being shown the door. Yossi Benayoun got his move to Chelsea, who will apparently “appreciate” him. Albert Riera moved to Greece after months of pissing and moaning³. Javier Macherano finally got his transfer to Barcelona and in the process netted us less than what we initially paid for him⁴. Nabil El Zhar and Damien Plessis will be plying their trade on the other side of the Greek Divide and  Alberto Aquilani was loaned to Juventus with, once again, a view to a permanent move.

Looking to fill both the Aquliani and Macherano role is Raul Meireles who signed on from FC Porto for the only double digit figure we saw leave the Anfield coffers this summer. He’s going to be key to anchoring the 4-4-2 Roy looks to be leaning towards. He may not be as strong in the tackle as Macherano or as fluid in passing as the Aquaman but his distribution will be a welcome sight when compared to his Argentine predecessors penchant for the lateral pass.

Not without note, the signings of Joe Cole and Milan Jovanovic on free transfers look like a good piece of business and Christian Poulsen being picked up from Juve could prove to be a astute signing. Both Joe and Milan have already cemented a place in the team⁵ and once a understanding is built should hit their stride. Both can play in number of different positions and will need to be adaptable as fixtures and injuries pile up.

Despite all the hub-bub surrounding a new striker, not one was brought in during the Transfer Window. We were linked with almost every front man going but all we saw were the backs of youngsters Krisitian Nemeth and Lauri Dalla Valle⁶ as they were shipped out before their times. Why we continue to sell off young players, especially those ones showing so much promise, is beyond me. Both of them impressed in the Academy teams and Nemeth had a decent loan spell in Greece last year. What fuck?

It’s not like we’re knee deep in attacking options up front. Torres, Kuyt, Babel, Ngog and Jovanovic can call play as a striker but only 2 of those names have clocked any significant time playing in their preferred role. If and when Torres hits the treatment table, I pray one of these boys can step up and give us the fire power we’ll be so desperately lacking. Ryan Babel, despite being an apparent make-weight in any number of different deals, has supposedly been promised more time up top. If he doesn’t come good playing as a striker, I have to say the Dutchmans days are numbered.

There’s our big summer broken down for you in terms everyone can pretty much understand: cold hard cash. We now have 6 less players on the books and turned a tidy profit on them to boot. I’m unable to take into account wages player wages, signing on fees, agents dipping their hands in the pot and all the other shady business that comes with the Football World but what’s next? I may only be a very poorly trained and inept accountant⁷ but something here just doesn’t add up. I think someone has a lot of ‘splainin to do….

-steven.

[Editors note: Pirated versions of Microsoft Excel actually come in handy⁸]

1. And by splashed, I actually mean trickled.
2. He also qualifies as a home grown player, which is nice.
3. Good riddance to that inconsistent mouthpiece.
4. Thanks a lot asshole.
5. When the former is not being Red Carded…
6. Who left for Fulham along with Alexander Kacanik as part of the Paul Konchesky deal…
7. I’m actually not an accountant.
8. Once a year.

Daniel Agger, Fabio Aurelio, Ryan Babel, Milan Jovanovic, Dirk Kuyt, Sotirios Kyrgiakos, Lucas Leiva, Raul Meireles, Christian Poulsen, Pepe Reina, Maxi Rodriguez, Martin Skrtel, Fernando Torres, Jamie Carragher, Joe Cole, Stephen Darby, Steven Gerrard, Glen Johnson, Brad Jones, Paul Konchesky, Jay Spearing.

Now, you might be wondering why there’s only 21 names on a 25 man squad.  Part of the reasons is that the club simply does not have that many senior players.  The squad was already a little thin, and then more were sold in the transfer window than were brought in.  The other reason is that youngsters like Martin Kelly and Danny Wilson do not have to be named.  As the rule goes, players who remain under 21 until the end of the year can play without being named into the squad.  I’m guessing that the only reason Stephen Darby was named in the squad was to have the proper amount of “homegrown” players.

Aston Villa has also named squad smaller than 25.  Yay!  We’re on track with Aston Villa!  *grumble*

-CSD