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Pics or GTFO.

As an independent blogger, I don’t feel the need to report on every little piece of LFC news that floats across our News Desk. There’s no reason for rumour mongering is there? But, when a potentially huge story breaks that has little to no credibility, you just can’t help but bite.

Here at Paisley Gates, we love both Steven Gerrard and baseless accusations equally so weighing in on this “story” is not only our duty as your last choice for LFC news but our right as gossip loving low lives.

The news that our Captain may have, potentially, impregnated a 16 year old girl comes as a shock to both myself and those of you daft enough to stick silverware into a light socket. This heinous act of fabricated “news” hits me to the very moral centre that I have come to rely on to bring to you such journalistic gems as “Why Lucas looks like a lesbian”¹ and “INSERT SOMETHING ELSE HERE”.

Despite the inevitable rush of taking the liberty of filing in the blanks with whatever sounds worse and rallying the villagers for a good old fashioned lynching, I believe in the right to a fair trial and all that antiquated logic stuff. That’s why I am calling for calm before passing judgement.

Who here among us has not paid heinous legal fees to lawyers, solicitors, barristers, cowboys and agents of the media to cover up our indiscretions? Look to yourself and your own checkered past before you answer this question. Did the Bible not say, among other things,  “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone”?

In the event that Steven did, in fact, sleep with this girl when he has Alex Curran between the sheets, isn’t that just a cry for help? A case of temporary insanity? Real proof that aliens do exist? If you look at the “story” in context, who is really to blame here?

More on this as it disappears off the blogosphere and into reputable news sources like NEWSOFTHEWORLD and the Ditchwater Daily Express.

-steven.

1. Ask Ed from the LFC Offside for further justification… [↩]